Confession of A Submissive Slave

Confession. What next step should be.... Should I continue with my journey?

I am a 32-year-old woman, standing at 5'2" and weighing 65kg, with measurements of 38ff-30-32, living in Delhi. I've been married to my high school sweetheart for 12 years. We are a DINKS (double income, no kids) couple, and everything seems picture-perfect. I have a loving, loyal, and supportive husband. However, I find myself unsatisfied with my sex life. It's not that we lack intimacy or that it's unenjoyable; rather, I have a strong desire for hardcore experiences, while he prefers passionate, softcore vanilla. Although those moments can be enjoyable, I yearn for hardcore BDSM.

At times, my frustration builds to the point where I tend to stay out late after work or take solo trips disguised as work commitments to avoid any potential outbursts. Unfortunately, things have been deteriorating. My mood swings have become noticeable both at home and at work, and I feel like I'm losing myself.

I attempted to find a BDSM Master, but in India, it's hard to trust anyone quickly, so I backed out multiple times.

One winter night, while I was passing time at my usual café to avoid going home, I noticed a familiar figure approaching to share my table. It was him, Sir Tamer. He was also a regular at the café, but we had never spoken before. He had seen me crying, sobbing, and yelling on the phone, but we had only exchanged a few glances. Now, he stood before me with a smile. He was about my husband's height, around 6 feet tall, 50 years old, with broad shoulders, strong, veiny, tattooed hands, a well-groomed beard, salt-and-pepper hair styled in a small ponytail, and a diamond stud in his ear. He carried a scent of spices and smoke. I was momentarily lost in the moment. He introduced himself, and I did the same, then he sat next to me.

We engaged in small talk about the weather, coffee, whiskey, and cigarettes—just trivial things—and I learned that he is one of our top clients at my company. Then, he addressed the elephant in the room, which I hadn't anticipated, and placed his palm on my hand. I was taken aback. His touch stirred something within me, and I began to cry, tears streaming down my face. He said, "Don't hold them back; let them out."

But the emotions were overwhelming, and I couldn't contain myself. I hugged him tightly and let everything pour out. As an experienced financial analyst, I found myself not thinking with my mind but rather with my emotions. I’m not sure how he perceives what I’m experiencing. When he kissed me deeply, I felt myself melt in his embrace.
We needed a more secluded location to talk, and while he suggested his place, I hesitated. I didn’t want to go to any hotel in the city, so we decided to take a short trip to Jaipur, and I agreed. We both drove our cars to the airport, boarded the flight, and checked into a lovely property. We spent 15 hours discussing our personal lives and BDSM. Suddenly, he paused and began kissing me; I felt like an obedient submissive. He placed handcuffs on me and a sleeping mask over my eyes. A mix of fear and pleasure coursed through my body. He ripped open my shirt and started nibbling on my large nipples, surprised by their size. "Have you been lactating?" he asked, to which I replied no, although I had tried, but it was painful, so my husband had stopped. "I can try if you want," I nodded.

Then he pulled my skirt down and began massaging my cunt through my silk panties. I was soaking wet. He then started to finger me hard and fast, bringing me to the edge before throwing me onto the bed and shoving his cock into my mouth, fucking me there before returning to my cunt while still finger-fucking my mouth. I could taste myself as he rammed into me hard and fast. Before long, I came hard, but he continued to fuck me like there was no tomorrow. He then positioned me on all fours with my ass up in the air and fucked me hard, causing me to scream in both pain and pleasure. After what felt like an eternity, he came and stuffed my panties into my ass. I was utterly exhausted, but it was just the beginning. He fucked me for the next two days as if I were his prey and he the predator.

I experienced true BDSM and realized that what I had known or seen on screen was merely a glimpse of the BDSM world. It is much deeper, darker, and hotter. That weekend trip transformed everything in my life. Sometimes, I feel like I’m cheating on my husband, but I believe it’s necessary for our relationship.

Now, it has been 1.5 years, and I am his submissive slave. He uses me and share me (with my concern.) We have no emotional relationships. He is married with 3kids. And am married to.
Now am at that point of my life where I want to leave my current job and join his company as regional head.

But i dont know what to do......

Please I need suggestions. I know, I know I always ask for suggestions but were can I go, I can't discuss anywhere else . Please help me out.

Should I join him?

"Please let me know if you want to hear more about my experience."