My wife doesn't know I was fucked by an older man in my teens

No one knows except me and the older man. I was young, knew him since I was around 11. He always let me use his pool and what I didn't know was why it always took him so long to change into his swimming suit. We'd go in the room together, I hurried up but looking back he always took his time once I was naked. He'd have me go get things or do something while I was naked. I'd get back in the bedroom to finish changing and he was naked too. He had was looked to me like a giant cock. As I found out when I was 14, it was 6 inches long and about an inch and a half thick. I know because he had me measure it but only after he'd had it in my asshole many times. I sucked him and would swallow after the first few times, he swallowed my cum too. I loved his mouth on me, and cumming was the best feeling I could imagine.

He buttfucked me from me being about 14 till I was 18. He was my sexual outlet, I was shy and it was hard for me to get dates, I was too embarrassed to ask girls out, and afraid they'd reject me. I also deep down felt that a girl would somehow be able to tell that I'd laid down naked and let a man stick his cock in my mouth and in my ass. That I was a "woman" to another man. I know now of course that is all BS but it really was a factor when I was young. Figure by the time I was 16 and driving, the age to start taking girls out on dates, I'd been sucking his cock and getting fucked for 2 years. I never said anything to anyone about it, not my mom, sister, any women I dated, none of my male friends. I was too embarrassed that I let a man have sex with me like I was his girlfriend. But to tell the truth, it felt good, I got to love sucking his cock. I loved the feeling of his cum shooting out into my mouth and the feeling of him entering me and fucking me was so great. For the most part I felt empty in my ass when his cock wasn't there. It was like it belonged inside me.

I do admit that I basically had soft stools for about 4 years. At 17 I sucked off another guy my age. I liked it, I asked him if he wanted to fuck me, and he called me a faggot and ran off. I was scared he'd say something to someone but he never did. I guess he was afraid too. I went to college and by 18 he was still fucking me when I'd come home. Then one day, no mention I showed u at his door and a young guy of about 14 or 15 answered the door wearing only a pair of underwear. The man invited me in, he was sitting on the couch naked with his legs spread. That was his favorite way of getting a BJ. Sit on the couch, spread and have me on my knees on the floor sucking his cock. I knew I'd been replaced. He pulled down the boys underwear and bent him over "Take a turn, it's nice and tight" the man said to me. "Unlike me, after four years of your cock fucking my hole?" I yelled back at him. I started to turn to leave, then I went forward, the boy bent over, his ripe young ass sticking out. He was bent over, his hands on the old mans knees to steady himself. I rammed all 7 inches into his ass with one push and fucked him like a man possessed. I came and left. Back at school I let two other guys, grad students fuck me, suck me, I sucked them and one of them I fucked also.

Fucking that grad student was my last homosexual act. I made it my mission to fuck girls and women. For two years before I met my now wife, I fucked girls, in their mouth, in their ass, in their pussies. I especially liked hairy pussies, almost all of them were shaving at that time. I ate pussy, one girl who was bi, gave me lessons on eating women out, and I listened and learned. My wife says I'm the best pussy eater ever.

I never told any of them about my past with other guys. My parents wanted to know if I was inviting the older man to our wedding. I told them no.