Little girl trapped in a little boys body

How I knew I was truly female, even from a young age.

As far back as I can remember, i think I was around 4-5 years old I "knew" I was a girl, I would play around wearing mom's bra, panties, pantyhose, thinking about the day I could wear them, mom played it off, dad wasn't happy about it. When I was 8, I was "caught" at school wearing my mom's panties, because I didn't want to wear boy underwear, this caused a big fight with mom and dad, but I still knew I was a girl. I would sit down to pee, absolutely love walking through the girls clothing at a store. I decided that year I was a girl, and would be a girl, mom and dad took me to a therapist, after that mom was still ok, and dad accepted it, I was going to be a girl. When I was 10 they started HRT on me, wanting to do before puberty.

Dad passed away shortly after I started HRT, he made mom promise to support me no matter who or what I was, she agreed to this. We moved across the country for a new start, I was no longer Paul, I was Kellie, I dressed and was a girl 24-7, the HRT took effect quickly, and I was developing female features, and looking less like a boy. When mom took me shopping for my first bra, I was so excited, I felt so feminine.

Mom helped me pick out dressed and skirts, and even better pantyhose/tights, I was so excited,got my ears pierced, I was a real girl!

Mom stressed the importance of sexual health with me. She showed me her anatomy, and where and what everything was, learned about periods, a turn on, but unfortunately not something I would experience.

Mom said before surgery most trans girls like anal play/anal sex, she told me about being safe and preparing for it, not to get hurt or sick. She said she started her anal play with a lube up finger, nice and easy to get the feel for it.

Our conversations were mom/daughter anything wa open to talk about between either of us, I asked mom if she masturbated, she said yes, showed me fingering and toys. We figured out the best method for me. Was to straddle a body pillow and hump my "clit" on it.

My penis never developed during puberty due to the HRT, and that was the plan, mom watched me pillow hump a few times and even started rubbing herself. It was so hot seeing mom naked, not in a normal way, but masturbating, modeling lingerie for me.

I started sleeping in bed with her, that made me feel naughty, but also secure with being trans. One night I feel something weird, mom is rubbing my 'clit" (extremely small micro penis), it felt so good versus using a pillow, I roll over and she stops, I said "it's ok Mom, as long as I can touch you ", she agrees, I reach over she spread her thick thighs, and I felt her labia and clit. I ended up sliding a couple fingers in her vagina, hitting her g spot, she gasped, and clenched her vagina on my fingers as she orgasmed. She was rubbing me, it felt so good, she had me roll over on my stomach, she got lube from her night spread my butt cheeks, dribbling lube on my boy pussy, rubbing it with her finger then penetrating me, the feeling was sooooo amazing, she reached under me rubbing my clit, I was moaning, as mom was like"you like Mommy playing with you baby, mommy is loving this too"

After a few minutes I felt this urge building, like I had to urinate but like my clit was going to blow, I'm screaming at Mom to stop, she actually increased her pace, I screamed and basically had my first orgasm, but being on HRT, it was streams of clear fluid/urine. Mom pulled her fingers out, I rolled over. ""Mom, what the fuck was that?" "Baby, you had an orgasm, it's normal with sex" oh, ok I said, I cuddled into her curvy figure and we went to sleep

I woke up, mom had rolled me towards her breast, something inside me said to suck her nipples, like I was a baby, mom let out a sigh as I suckled her nipples. She was large chested 44DD, beautiful large tits, areolas, and thick nipples, with a definite sag to them from age, childbirth and size. After she orgasmed, she wanted to show me a video, it was a beginner guide to oral sex, part 1 of this video was on giving a female oral sex, it was amazing! I was so excited, I said "do you want me to do this to you mommy?" She replied"if you're comfortable doing it" we sat on the bed her rubbing my clit, me playing with her thighs.

Then the part with giving a guy oral sex, I found the female actor so arousing, but sticking a penis in my mouth, not so much. It literally made me want to vomit.

After the videos ended, mom asked. "If you want to do this, we can, don't feel pressured." I said ok, "you need to prepare when having sex, let's go get in the shower", ok
We got into the shower, mom washed her body and pubic area, she shaved her pubic hair off, she shaved mine too. We get out of the shower mom grabs a bottle of clear liquid with a long nozzle, "what is that mommy", "sweetie this is called douching, it's like a shower for a vagina" I watched her squat over the toilet, inserting the nozzle in here, squeezing the bottle while working it in and out, until it was empty, she dried herself off and said she's ready.

She laid towels on the bed, laid on her back, legs up and spread, her vagina looked amazing, let labia lips were like butterfly wings. She said "go at your own pace baby"
I went down exploring with my fingers finding her engorged clit, started licking her clit and between her lips, she was moaning and rising off the bed, grabbing the bed, moaning louder and louder. She started screaming, grabbing my head, pulling it deep into her pussy, she let out a squealing scream, and unleashed gushes of fluid on me, I was in shock, mom laying there out of breath. "What was that mom?" "Baby mommy squirted, girls can squirt like boys do, but girls don't have sperm. I found a dry portion of towel and wiped my face off.

Mommy said it was my turn, I laid on my back, she took my 1-2" micro penis clit, in her mouth sucking on it, using her tongue to play with it, this was amazing I felt the explosion feeling told mommy, she just went harder and I shot fluid in her mouth. She looked up, swallowed and smiled at me.

Mom grabbed a realistic looking dildo out, had me feel it, try to give it oral, I barely got the tip in. And started gagging, maybe 3/4" in, I said "this is disgusting, I don't want to do this", mom was like "ok sweetie"

We went out for school clothes shopping, favorite part was bras, panties, pantyhose, tights, I was going to dress cute, mom insisted I wear yoga shorts over panties if wearing a dress/skirt, just as a extra layer of protection due to my "clit".

I said to mom, "I wish I could wear tampons and pads like you do", mom said "why not?" Said I don't have a period obviously. "Why does that matter you're a girl", we went over to that section, mom picked a multiple packs of tampons, pads, and even liners, "I will show you how to use them", I felt even more feminine.

When we got home, mom had me come into the bathroom, she undressed from her waist down, I could see her tampon string, and see a pad in her panties, she had me pull down my leggings, she took a thick Always Size 5, "maxi" unwrapped it and put it in my panties, pulled my panties up, and rubbed the crotch to seat the pad. I said it felt weird, "well they are not comfortable, I try to get away with just using a tampon, but I have a heavy flow"

She pulled down my panties, grabbed her tampon string and pulled it out, it was swollen and red. She grabbed a fresh tampon, told me to watch her do it, I did, "but mommy, I don't have a vagina", "trust me sweetie", she faced me unwrapping another tampon, licking the end of the applicator, spreading my butt cheeks with one hand, and penetrating me with the applicator, I peed and tensed up, "relax baby, don't tensed up", she slid the applicator in, pushing the tampon into my butt, it felt weird but amazing.

She pulled my panties up, my pad soaking up my pee accident, and told me to change it every 2 hours. This made me feel like a real woman, especially with the HRT, I would have some urinary incontinence, so a pad or liner helped with that, my breasts went from absolutely nothing to 34A, I wear skirts and dresses all the time finding pantyhose or tights feel amazing, and help hold my pad in place.

First day of school I wore a denim skirt, black pattern tights, tank top, and a cute top., mom wouldn't let me wear the "sexy" bra/panties from Victoria Secret, but more plain, she didn't want too much attention on me, being a new student and trans.

By this time I looked, talked, and acted like a female, it was absolutely amazing, Paul was gone, and Kellie was shining. I easily made friends, and along came a new challenge, sleepovers not wanting people to know I was trans, as long as I was able to not be seen without bottoms, I would be fine.

I got close to my friends, sleepovers were getting a little R rated, lol. Truth and dare, exposing chest or ass type stuff. It was a pleasure seeing girls my age in various positions with flashing.

I always picked TRUTH, so I could prevent having to remove bottoms, it worked for a while. Eventually they made me, fortunately my "clit" looked more like a clit versus a penis, testicles never dropped, I could pass as a girl, just without a vagina. I was expecting exile, and embarrassment, but received nothing.

Mom and I still fool around in bed, we've graduated me to anal plugs, and toys in addition to humping pillows, and oral.

I had a couple boys interested in me, I attempted to like them, but could not think about anything romantic/sexual.

A lot of my friends weren't allowed to use tampons, so they wore pads, seeing the pad bulge through leggings, or "upskirt" was so arousing. I would hang out with some boys, I would jerk them off, but no oral, but they could play with my tits, it was fun, but not amazing like seeing a woman naked.

By the time I was 14, I was almost completely uninterested in boys, had a few girl on girl adventures, which I enjoyed, my breasts developed more, thighs filled out, and the "clit" was smaller.

i found online support groups with trans girls/women, who shared their journey, Mandy a 20/F post op and I started talking, and she invited me to a LGBQT banquet, she took me out for me a formal dress, hair and nails, it was awesome, the banquet was amazing, some good speakers, great food. People had the opportunity to stand up and talk about their experiences, good and bad, and how they knew they were different.

Mandy got me to stand up and speak about my coming out young, and HRT at age 10. It felt good to be able to say, I'm a female, without a vagina.

When I finished, they applaud I felt a complete total comfort with them. Mandy and I went back to our room, she had 2 of her besties come in, one was pre-op, one post-op, both were passable women, we laid on the beds chatting, things started getting more comfortable and interesting, formal dresses were coming off, cute babydoll type nighties replacing, it was arousing seeing other naked women, natural and fake breast, a couple surgical vaginas, and a gorgeous redhead with DD cup tits, and a massive man cock, I gasped when Paula slid her panties off. "Everything ok babygirl?" I was like "ummm yeah, never seen a real one, that large". Paula laughed and said I could touch it if I felt comfortable, I did and it felt amazing, this was like a man penis, not a 14 yo boy penis.

I couldn't help myself, and had it in my mouth, sucking on it, Paula pulled away, "what the fuck?, you don't just do that", I apologized, Paula laughed and said she was fucking with me. I went back over and started sucking her cock, fondling her balls, I was going as deep as I could, it was amazing, I looked over seeing Mandy and Katie rubbing their pussies. Paula said she was going to cum, I pulled out, bent over and told her to ass fuck me and cum deep in my little girl ass.

I got on my hands and knees, Paula working on penetrating my ass, while Mandy and Katie were kissing and fondling every inch of my body.

Paula penetrated my ass with the tip, I thought I was going to die, she held it there, until she felt me stop tensing up, then a little more, she pulled out, I screamed, she grabbed lube, and started to penetrate again, she has maybe 2-3 of her 9" massive cock in my ass, I'm crying end up peeing all over, they all laughed, next thing I remember was Paula saying"get ready baby girl " slamming her cock balls deep in my ass, I collapsed onto the bed, I remembered waking up seeing the 3 of them staring at me, I apologized, started crying, wrapped in a towel and ran and locked myself in the bathroom.

They force their way into the bathroom, finding me on the floor, blood coming from my butt, they picked up and laid me on the bed, Paula apologized saying she wasn't trying to hurt me.

The 4 of us ended up sharing a California king bed, ending up entangled in each other for hours having amazing sex, my ass did heal, but I knew I needed much more preparing and lube.