I'm old, chubby, and no longer a young hottie, why did he rape me?

It's the one thing I keep thinking about. At 58 years old, wrinkled too much, sagging way too much, not attractive, gray haired, why did he pick me to rape? I was in the park and actually had just left a mans apartment. We had sex, charles and I have been having sex for about 6 months, he is 66 and had a nice big one. I'm not real experienced, I had my husband, and after he died I had one other man about 10 times, and nothing till charles. He and I had sex, I was just fucked and I love the feeling of warm sperm inside me. I love it feeling all warm and gushy, I like the feeling of it dripping into my panties as I walk home. I always was that way, I am a sperm lover. Charles lives at one end of the park and I at the other, it's only about 3 blocks long, it was still light out, a summers afternoon. A nice looking young man came up to me, and started talking as we stopped. Then he pulled out a gun and told me to walk to some bushes. These were arranged in a circle, but non one could see into the middle of them which was cleared. "take off your clothes, all of them and lay on the blanket" he said very sternly. I was shaking and trembling, he reached out and tore my blouse open, popping at least 4 of the buttons off. I hurried and undid the rest. "Pull down your pants too" he said. "Please don't, please, I'm old, don't do this to me, please don't do it to me" I was begging and crying then he slapped me across the face twice, once forehand once backhand. I fell to the grungy blanket. You could tell the blanket had been there a while I'm sure it was some homeless persons. "Take them the fuck off, NOW" he said. I pulled them down to my ankles and he snatch off my shoes and pulled them off my legs. I was in bra and panties only now. I started crying more, as he made me take off my bra. He knelt down and was feeling my breasts, it was awful. Only three men had ever seen me naked, and felt me like he was doing. I begging him again. That got me a slap again, and he ripped off my panties and threw them to the side. I looked over at them, a strange time to be thinking that my panties were ruined and ripped.

That all went away because as I was looking at them, he was on top of me. His pants at his ankles, and he was between my legs. His cock at my pussy. He looked and took his finger and wiped up some of Charles cum. "You fucking slut, you just got fucked?" he said and wiped it on my face. Then another finger full went in my mouth. Then it was done. His cock was inside me and he was pumping. I just turned away crying, still looking at my panties. I saw one of my shoes, then wondering where the other one was. I couldn't see it. At that he was up and pulled up his pants, not saying a word, I was left on the ground. I had been raped, by a young man of no more than 18 his cock was a big one like charles, though I never saw it. I sat up, naked and looked between my legs, more, fresh, white cum leaking from me. I crawled to my bra and put it on. I squatted down to try to push out as much cum as I could to get his rapist cum outside my body. I put on my pants, picked up my torn panties and put them wadded up between my legs so I didn't stain my pants. I held my blouse together, didn't realize my hair was a mess, and limped the rest of the way home. At home I showered, I pushed water in me with a shower nozzle I had, and saw all the cum come out of me. I had scrapes on my butt cheeks, and two big bruises on my face, one on either side. Then I saw my tits. Finger mark bruises on both of them.

I didn't go to charles for 2 weeks, and when i did, I couldn't let him have sex. I told him why and he just held me. I think back and in the afternoon, broad daylight, plenty of young, nice looking girls walking alone, and he picked me to rape. Why?