Harriet Peniston 16 - The Conversation

This won't make any sense unless you have read the story so far.

Over the Christmas holidays Harriet had made sure to call on Anne across the road at Number 4 Manor Close. Anne could tell she had something on her mind and Harriet told her about how she found her vibrator at Hannah’s bedside.

“Well she is 15, now. It’s not that shocking is it?”, said Anne. As always Anne was very practical and grounded about these things, and as usual Harriet was surprised by her matter-of-factness.

Anne went on, “And are you okay? I take it that this new toy is due to next door being long gone? I suppose it’s a lot less complicated for you now”.

Harriet nodded. She knew she was referring to Witness, but she wasn’t going to tell her about everything that had happened since.

“Well then”, continued Anne, “maybe you should get Hannah her own toy. That would probably be best and would remove the obvious problem of sharing?”

Harriet nodded again. This conversation wasn’t what she expected, but it did make some sense.

“You have a talk with her, don’t be too heavy, you were 15 once, and if you want I will order the new toy. Just send me over the details and I’ll sort it for you.”

Again Harriet nodded, this crisis suddenly seemed like a non-problem, although Harriet knew that when she was 15 she certainly wasn’t thinking about vibrators. “Thank you”, said Harriet, and that was that.

A few days later a smiling Anne turned up at the door with a small box. “Let me know how you get on”, she said with a wink, and was gone.

Days passed as Harriet dwelled on the problem. It was only on the last day of the school holiday in the new year that she finally raised the courage to get Hannah on her own and have the talk.

Harriet knocked on Hannah’s door, but didn’t wait to be asked in. Not knowing how to start the conversation she had decided to be upfront.

She held the new and still boxed vibrator in her hand as she entered. Hannah looked up from the book she was reading, shocked.

“You know what this is, don’t you, miss”, said Harriet in an accusatory tone, as she made sure that the door was firmly shut behind her.

“Mum”, cried out Hannah. She stared at the vibrator not knowing what to say.

“Well?”, said Harriet, demanding.

Hannah started to cry and all the fight left Harriet as she sat on the bed and comforted her daughter.

“I’m sorry. It’s okay”, said Harriet. “I’m just worried about you”.

“Well don’t be”, said Hannah, her attitude still present beneath her tears.

Harriet tried to start again. “Look, I understand what it’s like, but I don’t want you making any bad mistakes.”

Hannah looked up confused. “What kind of mistakes?”

“Well”, said Harriet uncomfortably, “sex. One thing leads to another.”

Hannah just looked at her mother, her mouth open in shock.

Harriet blustered to fill in the silence. “You know, boys. I have to protect your prospects”.

She looked at Hannah who still sat there not believing that this conversation was actually happening. Harriet felt like a total hypocrite given her recent personal journey of discovery, but at the same time she was determined to look out for her daughter. “Well, is there anyone?”, she let the question hang, waiting for Hannah’s response.

“No, mum”, she said between her sniffles. Harriet passed her a box of tissues. Hannah removed her glasses, wiped her eyes and nose and looked directly at her mother. “There’s a boy called Dan, but we haven’t done anything. We haven’t even kissed”.

Harriet looked at her. She wasn’t sure she was getting the truth.

“Honestly, mum”, continued Hannah, “We’re just good friends and it’s staying that way.”

“But you do like him?

“Yes”, replied Hannah softly.

“So what about this?”, she said holding out the box. She thought about the girl she had met, Angel, making her living on Only Fans and the little house it bought her, and Witness building up his online BBC empire. She wondered once again whether this was the new economy of youth. She didn’t want Hannah to fall into that trap.

Hannah looked at it. “I saw it in your room. I didn’t know what it was so I took it to look up”, she turned her gaze onto her mother, “I know what it is now though. I didn’t use it, but I know you do. Isn’t dad good enough for you? Are you going to leave him”. The tears came back in a flood.

Harriet sat shocked. Had she really got this all wrong? Hannah’s words had stung her. “No of course I’m not going to leave him. Don’t be silly”. She looked up at the ceiling unsure of what to do now.

“Hannah, you’ll find this out soon enough, but being an adult is, well, it’s complicated. Please don’t judge me for a little indulgence of my own”, Harriet felt guilty at her own words. The charm bracelet on her wrist, chosen by her own husband and children, felt heavy as the spade charm swung as she spoke.

“Well look, this is a new one that I bought for you”, she said as she offered Hannah the box.

“Mum?”, cried Hannah again, pushing the box away. “I don’t want it”.

This was becoming a nightmare for Harriet. How could she have been so stupid.

“Well look. Put it in your bedside cabinet. No one will know it’s there apart from us two. No one will find it. Use it if you want or ignore it”, she stood and opened Hannah’s cupboard, pushed the box in and closed the door. “There”. It was gone. Out of sight. Harriet took a deep breath and smiled at her daughter, hoping that everything had calmed down.

Hannah replaced her glasses on her nose and kept the defiant stare on her mother. Harriet felt uncomfortable and it seemed like forever before Hannah finally softened and smiled.

“Sorry mum”, she finally said.

Harriet just nodded and turned to leave.

“Mum?”, said Hannah as Harriet was partway through the door.

“Yes?”

“Thanks.”

Harriet left, closing the door behind her, worried that she thought she saw a smirk on Hannah’s face as she left.

“I hope that’s not trouble brewing”, she thought as she walked downstairs into the New Year of 2025.