My boyfriend

My first time ever encountering sexual events!

Im currently the age of 18 and my boyfriend is 19, we grew up in the same school together and also did many musical theatre shows together whilst performing in similar roles. He confessed his love to me on his last day of year 11 while I was in year 10 which I happily excepted as he had shown more love to me than anyone has ever.

He's the sweetest man I've ever met, however im extremely sensitive and I find it hard to engage in acts that are sexual and I dont really like my body much. He's told me multiple times he loves my body and I shouldn't be worried but I just can't help but feel like he's with me as a joke.

"You're home late" I say with a slight chuckle, preparing food I had made for him for when he comes home. He puts his bag down on the kitchen side and walks towards me, looking over my shoulder before asking me "why isn't it ready?". I pause.
"ready? You come home at different times each day, there's no way I could make it perfectly on time" I say, turning my head to look at him while putting the knife in my hand down, narrowing my eyebrows in confusion. "You have my location, you can't just track me to see if im on my way?" He replies, grabbing a hold of my chin lightly whilst staring directly into my eyes. "You have your battery saver on" I snap back, "your location turns off with it on" I finish while turning back around and reach my hand out to grab the knife to finish prepping before being instantly cut off with the grip of his hands pulling mine. "You think your funny, ay? Trying to outsmart me?" He says intimidatingly, grabbing the knife which was dripping steak juice and holds the tip onto my chin, using it to lift my head up to meet his. "What the hell are you doing?" I exclaim, "put that down, are you crazy?!" I say, trying to free my hands he was gripping together with just one of his. "you're so cute, sweetheart, you know i wouldnt really try to do anything. Im sorry for that, works been stressful lately and i know its not your fault, im sorry". He says softly, putting the knife down and pulling me close, kissing my cheek and letting his finger trail up and down my spine; sending goosebumps with his touch.

"Oscar.." I mumble, resting my head onto his shoulder; my knees weak. "Yes, my love?" He replies soothingly, his fingers slowly making their way down my body. "I can't do this.. please stop" I say, overwhelmed from the current situation before he puts his finger over my lips "shhh baby, it'll only last a while"

Before I know it im laying on my bed, my legs closed together tightly and my heart pounding as if I was about to have a metaphorical heartattack. He grips hold of my knees while grinning at me, "open up".
"Please dont do this" I say with a shaky voice, bringing myself to sit up with my hands almost failing me, my brain currently stuck in fight or flight mode. "I know, baby, its scary i get it. I understand you, im here for you and if you seriously dont want this, im not going to carry on." he says, pushing me back down and spreading my legs. He unbuckles his belt, hovering over me while I start to tear up, scratching my face anxiously. "It's ok baby, dont worry, im right here. Just let me have a go and you can tell me when too stop if you still can't handle it" he says, his voice calming as he moves my hand away from my face, replacing it with his own while stroking my cheek.

He let's his face slowly leave my face and grabs a bottle of lotion from his bedside table and pours some into his hand, stroking his dick with it before putting some onto my ass. The coldness of the lotion makes me jump, my head quickly bringing itself up to see what was going on "Oscar I dont like it, please can we stop it here" I say as my voice cracks, my knees bringing themselves back together as I start to feel tears starting to run down my face. "Your just in shock my love, its ok, im not going to do anything that'd hurt you", the soothingness of his voice slightly brings my mind to peace as I lay my head back, biting my nails; waiting for the dreadful moment to just end. He sighs. "Im not going to lie to you, this part is going to hurt a shit ton; i get if you wanna stop now", I start to panic. He takes my hand as I close my eyes tightly, his dick at my entrance. He pushes. "OSCAR WAIT" I scream, but it was too late. "The hard part is over now darling, you just need to relax and this could be the best moment of your life."

My legs start uncontrollably shaking as I start to see black dots all around, repeating math questions in my head to keep my consciousness. "i..." I start, unable to form a sentence.
"You're going to be ok, I promise." He says as he leans over too kiss my forehead before slowly starting to pull his dick in and out of me, causing me to erupt into a flood of overstimulation and utter fear. He starts groaning, speeding up his pace as I stare at the ceiling blankly, no thoughts besides fully believing he's going to break me. "os..car" I manage to say between moans and deep breathes, as he looks at me "I know baby, your doing to well". Those words were something I craved too hear, I was planning on asking him to stop but I didn't want to let him down, especially after he validated me like that. Overtime the pain starts to wear down as pleasure slowly started to creep up on me, "mmmhhhh" I moan quietly, as my legs start to part further, making myself more comfortable. "God.." he says, breathing heavily, "your so beautiful, my love" he finishes, smiling down at me as I reply with a whisper "can you, uh.." I break the eye contact, embarrassed of what almost came out of my mouth. "Can I? Stop? Go faster? Pause a second?" He says, slightly slowing himself down, "t-the second one.." I rub my eyes, trying to make myself look less awkward about it as he chuckles to himself "im glad you asked baby"

Now, when I said "can you go faster" by no means did that translate to "harder"???????? How on God's green earth did you mix that up..... Anyway, he starts to slam onto me as I cover my mouth, trying to stop any screams that were trying to get out. "a-ahh.. you're going t-too hard... mphh.." I manage to push out of my mouth "o-oscar.." I tap his leg, trying to get his attention. I start to tear back up, he was ignoring my cries, he promised I could stop. He looks down at me, "are you ok, baby" he asks, rubbing my shoulder in comfort, "I quickly look up at him, wiping my eyes as I mumble "you're being.. t-too rough..".
"My love, i can't hear you when you mumble" he replies, caressing my neck and he slams into me, making me blurt out "h-hard!"
"Harder?" He asks, I quickly shake my head in pure terror as I open my mouth but nothing comes out.
"Too hard?" He slows down. The guilt starts to hit, I look back at him and say "no... its fine, I was b-being dramatic.." I reply, "you can carry on.." I look back up at the ceiling, holding back tears as I know i brought this upon my self. "Baby.. you dont have too do it, im not forcing you", I start to cry uncontrollably as I say "no, I want it! y-you we're just being rough..", he leans down and kisses me gently, speeding up his pace but this time, without slamming down. "H-haaah.." I moan into the kiss, my eyes rolling back with intense pleasure, "u-uhhh"...
"I knew you'd love it, baby. You're so good to me." He says, lightly getting harder, I could tell he was close. "You like this, princess? You like my big dick rocking into you, huh? Look at yourself, my dicks making you loose your shit" he grunts, gripping one hand onto my leg and the other on my waist as he pulls me up and down on his dick. "I-i love it.. thank you- mffff... for this.." I reply, my toes clenching as I start to get close. "You cute little slut, look at you being driven stupid by daddy's big dick. Aww you really love this dont you, fucking cock whore" he groans as he starts slamming into me however im too lost in my head too even care, I needed this. "Im gonna cum, take my seed you fucking slut.", and he does what he promises. Suddenly, im hit with a warm feeling inside me and my stomach starts too feel full, "look at you, panting like a bitch in heat" he laughs, rubbing my shoulder.

After we cleaned up, it had been over 25 minutes since this happened now, I started to feel disgusting and icked out by myself. I stood staring at myself in the mirror, questioning everything i did. Why did I do that? Why did I start feeding into it? Moaning his name? Asking to go faster? I felt so pathetic. Oscar comes up behind me, hugging me whilst kissing my neck, causing me to again moan "mmm..", I look at him through the mirror. "You were so good sweetheart, im so proud of you. I know how it feels after your first time, im always right beside you, you did everything right, I love you".
I turn around and fall into his hug deeper as I rest my head on his shoulder, thankful this is the man I gave up my virginity too.