Ugly 17F, wanted to lose my virginity but I just didn't realize

I knew why, no one would date me. I was chubby, small boobs, and . . . I was the ugly duckling in school. Not even other girls would hang around me or be my friend. I had to face it, I wasn't "go to the prom" material. Doug moved in next door, he was 19 going to college, and his family moved next door. He had a great car, and his bedroom upstairs was across from mine. The house had been vacant for a while, so I never bothered closing the blinds or curtains when I'd come out of the shower. I was doing my normal thing naked around my room, my huge brown patch of hair over my vagina showing, my little boobs dangling. I took my time, and then standing front to the window I saw Doug. We'd met before, but I was shocked and immediately grabbed a robe and held it in front of me. He shook his head no and motioned for me to drop the robe. I took it down and he nodded, giving me a thumbs up. I moved closer to the window and he came to his and opened it. I opened mine. He said hi and told me he knew he was going to like living here. I blushed and then he said that I deserved some "entertainment" too. With that he stood upright and took off his shirt, his shorts, shoes, sox, then removed his underpants. It was my first time seeing an adult males cock. He leaned out the window and asked if I liked it. I told him it looked good enough to eat, and he suggested that we try that sometime.

Two days later we were out in his truck, on a lonely, dark road in the woods. He didn't ask he just took off his clothes and asked if I was going to take mine off. I went with it and did. Naked he pulled my head down to his cock. "Go ahead, suck it, give me a BJ" he said. I told him I didn't know how. He took my finger and in his mouth showed me what to do. He warned me he was about to cum, I knew what that was, but had no idea about how much or how hard it came out. Doug he said, was a big cummer. Literally I'd say about a third of my mouth was full of his sperm. I didn't know what to do. He picked up my head looking into my eyes and told me to swallow. I thought that was enough, but he took a blanket and opened the door. "Let's go outside, that way I can get to you better when we fuck". Did I hear him right, he wants to fuck me. A gorgeous guy like Doug actually gets excited by my fat body, my hairy cooch? I got out and he laid a blanket down. "After cumming already I can last longer now" he said. "I'm a virgin" I blurted it out, loudly. He looked at me, laid me down spread my legs, and spread apart my outer lips looking at me. "yeah I see it, your hymen is there, wow, I'm gonna fuck a virgin" he said as she chuckled. I didn't have time to react, his cock was at my pussy and he pushed in. I hate to say it but I was wet, very wet and he plunged into me. He took a few pumps, then pulled out looking down at my pussy. "Oh man, my cocks got blood on it, I popped your cherry" and he pushed back in and fucked me till he came inside me. He would play with my boobs, suck on my nipples, even kiss my chest but never kissed me. He pulled out and took my white cotton panties and wiped up my pussy. "This has some of your blood on it and my cum with your pussy juice. I am going to keep these as a souvenir of fucking you your first time" I didn't seem to have a choice. I just asked one question "Will this get me pregnant?". "I don't know, hell don't care, it was a good, really tight fuck in a virgin cunt" he said.

After several dates, always way out of town, way away from anyone. I was getting fucked, sucking him and it slowly dawned on me. We never went anywhere where anyone could see us. Not only that, he's never even kissed me. I was the girl who got fucked and had never been kissed. He didn't lick me like I'd seen in pictures and videos he never kissed me, he never rubbed me to get me wet and hot. He came in my mouth and used my pussy, he called it a cunt, to cum in. I asked him to take me to a small diner to get something to eat sometime before we go out of town. His answer: "Yeah sure, sometime we'll have to do that". I finally told him I was tired of having to suck him and have him fuck me in his truck or on the ground. "So what the hell do you want?" he yelled at me. "At least take me to a motel where we can do it in a bed like real people are supposed to" I answered. He picked me up later than usual, after dark, and took me to a notel motel down the road near the next town. He got naked as usual, standing there I brought his hands to my shorts and asked him to take them down. "Why? You can't take off your own fucking clothes" he said. "Take them off and get on the bed, after all you were the one who wanted this so fucking bad, so here we are, in a motel and I'm naked and ready to fuck and you still have your fucking clothes on". I took off my clothes and turned on the television. "Kiss me" I told him. "What? No, I don't need to kiss you, lay down". "Kiss me or I won't let you fuck me". His answer "Turn off the TV" I asked why. "Turn off the TV and lay down and I'll tell you". So I turned it off, and in the dark laid on the bed. He spread my legs and got between them and immediately stuck his cock in me and started pumping. "Kiss me" I told him. He gave me a small, super quick peck on the cheek. I shook him off and turned on the lamp next to the bed. "What the fuck are you doing?" he asked me. "Why won't you kiss me?" I asked him. "turn off the light and I'll kiss you again" he said. I told him that was a tiny peck, not even what you'd give a sister, not a kiss. I turned the light off and he just said it, but not till his cock was inside me again. "I don't want to kiss you, and I definitely don't want to kiss you or even fuck you with the lights on". I was stunned.

Here was this god of a boy, I'd given him my virginity and he wouldn't kiss me, or even have sex with me in the light. "Is it because of the way I look?" I asked him. He kept pumping and no answer. I reached over and turned the light back on. He stopped immediately. "Kiss me now, on the lips, full on, or stop fucking me" I told him in no uncertain terms. The look on his face at refusing him was total anger. He raise his hand like he was going to hit me, but stopped. I was starting to cry a bit. "You want kissed you fat ugly whore? OK I'll fucking kiss you" and with the light on, he was kissing me, fully, totally sticking his tongue in my mouth and then he pulled off. He forced me to roll over, my fat butt up now, and he got on top of me and his cock slick from my pussy, he pushed it into my asshole. "No , No, stop it, Doug stop it, it hurts baby, please don't" I was begging, crying now. "You wanted to get kissed in the light, now you're getting fucked in the light too. Do you like? Huh? You fucking like it? I'll just bet you do like getting it up your ass. That's all your fucking good for anyway, just being a hole to cum in. Why the fuck do you think I started watching your fat ugly body and face? I wanted a girl who'd let me cum in her, just like you've been doing now for months."

He finally said it, and came shoving his cock so far up my asshole I thought it would hurt me inside. He pulled out, turned the light off, and laid next to me. He was playing with my boobs, sucking on the nipples, pulling my hand to his cock I started jacking him. When he was hard again, he fucked me in my pussy this time. He immediately got up, turned on the light and got dressed telling me to do the same. "Get the fuck up, we have to leave before anyone comes out and see us" he said. I didn't put on my bra or my panties or socks. Just my shorts and top and shoes. I rode home in silence got out and went to my room. I noticed he had his drapes closed I called him and told him to open them. He wouldn't do it.

It's been 3 years since, and I've got a good job, no prospects for dating or marriage and probably never will and honestly after Doug. I don't want any one.