Double Life - The original Lie

When I realised I was gay that led the second life I lived that noone knows about.

This is one of many events in my life that noone knows about. It's about how and when I lost my virginity and why it's a big deal today.

I'm straight and married for over 15 years now. My wife knew me in most of high school, we were high school sweethearts. I do love her, but I haven't been faithful nor honest with her or anyone.

I was an early adopter of the internet. The moment my parents got us hooked up and out first computer, I was addicted. I was on every forum, every space and of course I found porn. I watched a lot of it daily, and shared it amongst my friends at school on USB sticks. I didn't know back then, but I was definitely addicted to it. And my friends had a question for me - why was all my porn trans actors? I didn't have an answer. All I knew was that it was gay to watch two men, and I wanted to see two men go at it, so this was the loophole. I was a dumb kid, I wasn't old enough to understand the insult to trans that is and I apologise for that idiot. He learned better growing up.

By the time I was 13, social media and hook up apps were blowing up. I signed up for all of them. Did you know tinders age limit used to be 13? Wild days back then. No age verifications and an app to meet strangers was classified as 13+.

On a Wednesday in November, I got a friend requests from a guy. Back then, we all accepted everyone. It was like we were all competing to have the most imaginary friends we'll never meet. The guy immediately sent me a PM, so I checked out his profile.

His name was David, he was 25, has an on and off again gf, went to the same high school as me and liked Anime. He sounded cool so I said hi back.

"Hey hey man, I saw you go to my old high school. Just wanted to know if the library is stl run by Nazi Mr. Trove still?"

"No, I don't know who that is so probably not there anymore", i responded.

"You're so lucky man, thank God for you, he was a fucking psycho haha", he laughed back.

"Lol"

"Oh my God, you play Quake man? You like first person shooters? I'm getting rid of my old CDs man as I'm getting a PS2 and giving my PC to my little brother for his schooling. He loves Atari shit, not FPS, so would you like them man? My gift to you friend," he replied

"What do you mean? What FPS are they and you're just giving them to me?", i was so confused by the gesture and what was going on.

"Solid FPS shit man, and all yours for free. Pass me an address, and I can drop them off or mail them to you man."

In my defence, internet privacy and security concerns didn't come into full swing until the 2010s, so of course I gave him my address. Free video games! I cared a little about what they were and he wouldn't tell me beforehand, but just felt cool getting free stuff from a random conversation.