Why I am who I am 2

You do have to read my first story. My whole life was just one mistake after another. But I guess people want to know about it. So here it is

Right after my brutal ass fucking Mr. Ben gave me. I made it home and made dinner for dad and Tom; my brother.
I just sat there watching them eat with my asshole twitching and burning. They had no idea what I had been through. How could I tell them I was rapped. And if I did would they even care.
After I cleaned up I went to bed early. I kissed my dad on his cheek and told him I loved him. As I walked back to my room I thought about living with two men. How they watched me. I wondered if they had ever thought about rapping me. Or just asking me for sex. I had thought about them. They were handsome. But they were my family. God knows there was enough of that shit happening in Kentucky already.
I laid there in bed with the memories of my rape playing over and over in my head. My ass still hurt. But I was grateful for it. He could have filled my pussy with cum. I could have been pregnant. I was actually thankful for him rapping my ass. God I was so stupid.
The next morning I ask my brother for a ride to school. I never wanted to see my bus driver Mr Ben again.
“If you’re ready to go and don’t mind sitting between my friends Jason and Steve.”
“Thanks, Tom. I’ll get a job this summer and I hope to have my own car by the time school starts again next fall.”
The ride to school wasn’t that bad. The three men my brother picked up were happy to have me along. At least they smiled at me.
I finished the last week of my Jr year and got a job at Big Burgers. Everyone in town called it BBs. It was a great place to work. $3 an hour and tips. I had to ride into town early in the morning every day with my brother. But it gave me time to read and relax before work started.
Besides the occasional nightmare I was able to put my rape behind me and just pretend it didn’t happen. All though almost every night I was masturbating to the memory of it. Then feeling ashamed for it.
For a girl who never really thought of sex that much before, it seemed now my pussy wouldn’t stop getting wet, at the sight of almost any men who walked into BBs for their lunch and dinner. I was so horny all the time. And didn’t understand why. I hated it. Then I didn’t. I would play with myself in the bathroom. Them cry. Dry my eyes and head back to work.
That was my summer. By the fall and the start of my senior year I was good friends with Steve. He was a little older than me. But even Dad didn’t seem to mind.
When Steve stop by BBs to ask if I wanted to go to the movies with him. I thought maybe it was time to get started trying to be normal again. So I accepted.
The first few dates went well. I even got kissed without wetting my pants. Wet, yes. But not afraid of being rapped again.
I should have been.
“Jen, we’ve been going out a while. Come on let me get more than a kiss.
I wanted to. Much like my first boyfriend made me feel. Steve made me want to please him.
“I just scared you know. What if we go to far, what if you got me pregnant. I only have a few months left of school. How about I just give you a blow job?”
“ Sure, alright.”
Steve had a nice 6 inch cock. He didn’t clean it well, but he had been working all day.
Once again I found myself bending over with my head between my boyfriend’s legs. Bobbing my head up and down. He was not one to cum quick. His cock was a little fat. I was hoping one day to be able to get fucked by it. I even felt myself growing wet as I worked hard for my reward of a my full of cum. And he delivered it well. He didn’t even hold my head down trying to chock me.
“Wow, that was great Jen.”
“Glad I could help you out. Would you do me?”
“You mean go down on you? I’m not sure. I just don’t like to think about licking where you piss out of.”
“ what do you think I just did?”
“Women are supposed to do that. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll finger you if you want. I just don’t go down on girls. “
I wanted to slap him. I put his dick in my mouth and he wouldn’t even try to lick me. He was older and I was stupid. So I said it was fine when it really bothered me.
The next few dates went by about the same. Then of course he wanted more.
“ come on, don’t you feel the need for a good fuck sometimes?”
“ I do, but I have some self control. Let’s go, I let you chew on my tits for over an hour. I’m sore and you had your blow job. I’m not going to get anything out of this. Just take me back home I have school in the morning. “
You’re right baby, I haven’t been treating you well. I’m sorry. Let’s go for a walk around the lake. It’s a beautiful night. It’s still early.
I should have said no. But I don’t think it would have mattered much. We walked and talked about work and school and what it would be like after graduation. We were back at the car when Steve came up behind me and kissed my left ear. He held me close and slid his hands over my small breast. The with a strength I didn’t know he had he quickly grabbed my hair jerked me back then slammed my head into the hood of his car. It was a quiet night. No one was around to hear me scream. I was so confused it took me a moment to realize what was happening. By then my pants were around my knees and I felt myself growing wet underwear ripping.
“Oh god please. Steve don’t. Please Steve.”
“You’ll thank me when it’s over. Once you get broken in you’ll see it’s not that big of a deal.”
Steve might have been right about that. I don’t know. I knew at the time I wanted to stay a virgin. I knew I didn’t want my cherry popped bent over the hood of a car. But there I was bent over and feeling his hard cock sliding between my legs. I was wet instantly.
Why was I wet, because I was a dirty girl who really wanted it. Or it was just my body’s reaction to being scared. Whatever it was Steve liked it. Me, not so much.
“ god your wet for me “
“ please don’t get me pregnant Steve. I don’t want to do this, but if you are going to anyway please pull out. I’ll suck you off. I’ll make it good for you. “
“ you sure will!”
Steve knew I was a virgin. He didn’t care. I felt his cock spilt my lips and find my hole. Then he pushed hard and my last virgin placed was taken away from me. His cock sat in my hard and ready for the good fuck Steve was wanting early. I just laid there bent over with my legs shaking as he fucked me fast and hard. I was about to cum when he stopped. I was about to go to my knees to suck him off thinking thankful he was done and he didn’t cum in my cunt.
But he was only getting started. I walked over and opened the door to the car told me to get in the back where he stripped my clothes off and laid on top of me. He then started to what I think was his version of making love to me. It was slow and gentle. But I didn’t want any of it. I just turned my head and waited. On and on in and out till his cock finally emptied into my cunt. I knew he would. I just asked if he was done.
“ yeah, you didn’t like that Jen? It’s probably because it’s your first time. Wait until next weekend. You’re going to be begging for it.”
Please, can you take me home now. I don’t feel well. I think I’m starting my period.”
Saying that put Steve in a bad mood and he didn’t say anything else except good night when he dropped me off.
Once again I found myself on the toilet wiping my sore pussy till the cum stopped. I was mad and hurt. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t ride to school with him sitting close to me tomorrow morning. But if I rode the bus I would have to face Mr Ben and his fat cock that still made my ass twitch every time I thought about how he drove it so deep into me my guts hurt after he was done.
End the end I rode the bus. I had grown up a lot over the past year. And I knew exactly how to handle Mr Ben.
“ I’m so glad you decided to ride the bus Jen. I’ve been waiting for this all year. “
“ I bet you have. But I’m not going to let you rape me again Mr Ben. You can tell my dad anything you want. This is back woods Kentucky. I’m a little white girl, and you’re a big black man. If I say you touched me you’ll be in prison before the sunsets.”
Mr Ben’s eyes grew wide and he looked really scared. I didn’t let up, I was going to get what I wanted from him.
My ass still hurts, I think you should pay me for that virgin ass you stole from me. Or should I tell my dad that you just took it without even a kiss?”
“Jen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Listen I can pay you a little bit. How about a hundred dollars. That’s a lot of money for a girl like you Jen.”
It wasn’t, I made over a hundred dollars every weekend in tips at BBs.
500 hundred, my virgin ass was worth 500 dollars Mr Ben.”
“ what the fuck, your ass won’t be worth shit if I kill you right here. No body knows you’re here. How about I just fuck you and leave your body in the woods?”
“My friend April knows. I told her if I come up missing you did it to me. If I don’t show up at school tomorrow. The cops will be at your door by the afternoon. 500 hundred dollars Mr. Ben. “
He broke out in a sweat but he shook his head head letting me know he would pay.
“Good, now take me to your house.”
“Why”
“ because I don’t want to fuck on a bus sit anymore. I want to lay down in a bed. You aren’t married are you?”
Mr Ben broke into a smile that warmed my heart and my cunt.
And hour later he was ripping my teenage pussy apart with that fat dick of his. I was finally getting the hard fucking I wanted. I was screaming his name and wetting his sheets with each powerful stroke he gave me. When he emptied his balls I held him close and rubbed my clit as his cock softly slipped out with a river of cum pouring out behind it.
“Thanks Mr Ben. I have been needing that.”
“ you aren’t really going to make me pay you are you Jen?”
I sat up and grabbed his wet dick and sucked it clean. As I thought about what I really wanted.
“How about I take your 500 dollars and then pay you 500 dollars for something else I need. That way I get paid and you don’t lose any money. “
“What do you need?”
“Not much, I need someone beating up for me. I want the fucker to wish he was never born with a dick that would rape me. “
“Oh, someone hurt you Jen?”
“He took something from me. He wasn’t gentle about it. I know you tried to not hurt me. I’m still pissed you rapped my ass. But I know you didn’t try to hurt me. It makes a difference. You just wanted your rocks off. Steve was an ass. He fucked me for his pleasure. He didn’t give a damn about me.”
Mr Ben said he would take care of it. A week later I found out Steve had gotten jumped by Three black men who took him to a barn in the woods and raped him, then put him in a dress and beat him up so bad he barely survived. They shoved a beer bottle up his ass so far it had to be surgically removed. They painted whore across his ass and pissed on him before dropping his broken body outside the hospital. They crushed his legs so badly they had to amputate them. Steve never walked again because of me.
I cried for days. I know I asked for it to happen. But I didn’t really know what I was asking for. I was hurting and I wanted Steve to hurt to. But not that much.
When he got out of the hospital it was a week before graduation. I felt so bad for him. I gave him a blow job. Then just said fuck it. Reached under my skirt pulled my Panties to the side and slide his dick into me. I looked into his sad eyes as I rode him. His was never going to be a real man again as he saw it. I rode him to a nice orgasm for me. His orgasm was not what I expected. He said it hurt when he came. And his dick shrunk back into his as soon as I got done. I tried not to smile. I felt bad. But it felt good to.
I graduated high school, Went out and partied with April. We had a great time hanging out with friends. Free food at BBs. It was a great night.
Dad gave me a car. A used car. But it was nice. He told me to have fun.
So I drove over to Mr Ben’s and parked my new car in his barn.
“Jen, I didn’t think I’d see you tonight “
I stood there in my little black dress. Looking down at my shoes.
“ would you be gentle if I said I needed my ass screwed?”
“ oh yeah, I’ll be gentle with you Jen.”
In the morning my ass was a gaping hole full of black seed and a was one happy girl. I sat down on Mr. Ben’s cock one more time before heading home. I walked in my house looking and smelling like a whore. Dad just shook his head. My brother looked like he wanted to fuck me. But my holes were closed for fun at least for the next couple of days.